Monday, June 06, 2005

I'd Like To Buy A Barf Bag, Pat

Browsing around the internet today at my temp gig while they interviewed people for my job, and I came across something that you have to see. I think I came across this by a link from my friend Joe's blog to another blog, which had a link to this. Yes, Pat Sajak has a website/blog/ego stroke. Go ahead, read some of his "Sajak Says..." shit. What a jack-off. Now, I learned a while ago that he was a conservative twit while reading an editorial in some paper (one of those "liberal" ones) by him. It was an ironic article, given that he was going off on the mainstream "liberal media" for their bias against conservative views even though they were publishing an article by him, a conservative celebrity. This is typical of most conservatives these days. Claim over and over that there is a "liberal bias" and maybe it will actually be true. Or at least the stupid people will believe it to be true. And they do. But coming across this idiot's web site and seeing some of the stupid shit he writes was just hilarious. For the most part it is a lot like the rest of the GOP talking points you see everyday on the news. But the smugness with which he writes puts him right up there with the king of twits Robert Novak. And like FOX News, Pat likes to play fast and loose with the facts. Like the claim he makes about Air America Radio not gaining any ground, despite the fact that their ratings and number of markets keep growing, and they are beating Rush and O'Reilly in several cities.

And like the rest of the conservatives in this country, Sajak-off loves to make the claim that we liberals are happy every time a bomb goes off in Iraq and innocent people are killed because it makes Dubya look bad. Well fuck you Pat! The reason we were against this war to begin with was because we didn't want a bunch of innocent people to get killed you stupid ass. Pointing out that these things are the result of Georgie Boy's failed policies is not celebrating it. Thousands of innocent people dead and people like wheel-boy continue to paint us as the evil ones. Guess what, prick? Blaming us won't get rid of your guilt.

And like all good conservatives, much of his writing has the obligatory sucking of The Gipper's dick. OK, we get it, you cons loved that jackass who sold weapons to Iran and destroyed democracy in Nicaragua. But, much to my delight, he's dead now. So get over it. And the last time I checked totalitarianism is alive and well in Russia, so even the big thing they like to give him credit for (ending Communism blah blah blah) didn't actually happen. It just renamed itself.

Some more things from game show pretty-boy: He has an entry where he calls himself a member of an exclusive club, along with the likes of Johnny Carson. That being the club of people who had late-night talk shows. You gotta love it. He has a show that tanked horribly and he considers it some great thing he did. All 15 months of it.

He goes off on celebrities for their preaching of their political beliefs, then makes excuses for the way he does it. He also suggests revisiting the 1st Amendment. There are, of course, the obligatory attacks on Bill and Hillary. And taking jabs at Gore's unpopularity with the American people, forgetting, like all conservatives do, that he actually got about a half a million more votes than the Texas Ranger man. There is also the portrayal of Christians as somehow oppressed in this country. Oh, and we on the left hate them too. Even though the majority of the people on the left in this country, just like the right, are Christians. People on the right love to scream about religious hatred at us, usually right after it's been found out they did something like piss on somebody else's holy book.

My two favorites are these: He does go off about taxes. Typical conservative nonsense. He falls right in line with the rich lazy-white-guy who doesn't think he should have to pay taxes. I always find it funny that guys like William Buffet and George Soros, who have worked really hard to become kajillionaires, are all for paying their fair share of taxes, including the Estate Tax, while guys like Pat, who works about three hours one day a week (that's how a whole week of game shows are done) cries like a little pussy about how he's being ripped off. Seriously, this guy doesn't know anything about a 40-hour week or hard work, his riches have come about with the greatest of ease because he was born with TV looks and a good voice. Personally, I would have a TV host tax, and the rate would go up with the stupidity of the show and the ease of the host's job. That would put Patty-boy at about a 90% tax rate. Vanna would have to hand her whole check over. Donald Trump would have to give up his salary and pay extra on top of that. But I digress. Back to the dumb-ass. In a couple of entries he goes off on liberals for name-calling (labeling someone a Hitler and other things like that) and makes a point about how he doesn't do things like that. But look over his postings and you'll see him call John Kerry a jerk, he'll refer to both Michael Moore and Ted Kennedy as fat, allude to Barbara Boxer as a cry-baby and Hollywood celebrities being stupid and Democrats being drunks. The best he could come up with for Al Franken was to call him unfunny a couple of times. There is something really hilarious about guys like Sajakoff or O'Reilly accusing Franken of not being funny. Does anyone really think either of them would know a good joke if it came up and fucked them in the ear? See, like that. Not a good joke. But still better than any of dickface's little stabs at humor during the "get to know the stupid Iowa housewife" portion of his game show.

Ok, enough of going off on the twit. He might call me an Internet Goon. That's someone who pisses Pat off by saying mean things and hiding behind a screen name. He goes on and on about it in that post. Talks about how he doesn't read letters he gets at the game show if it is unsigned. Well, I'm more than happy to sign my name to this you waste of oxygen. But one thing, Pat doesn't have a comment page or a "contact me" section on his ego stroke site. So if anyone knows how I can forward this to him please let me know. And just for the record douche-bag, I am:

Sincerely yours,

Out Of Tune
Boston, MA
White male
American
Married no kids
Age - 34
Sign - Leo

4 comments:

Joe said...

Personally, I have to disagree. Among the many things I admire about Pat Sajak (you misspell it several times in you post, adding an extraneous "-off") is that he has, for decades, set the standard for blandness. Before Mr. Sajak, most of the country didn't really have an idea of what it meant to be bland. Then he started spinning that wheel of his and America knew. "Wow! My eyes and mind just kind of slide right off of him! It's like he blends right into the wall-paper! So THAT'S what it means to be flavorless!" Thanks, Pat Sajak, and keep up the whatever!

Deni said...

But don't you think that the blandness crown has now been passed to that Ryan Seacrest guy?

Joe said...

I can proudly say that I have never seen Ryan Seacrest and wouldn't know the motherfucker if he was puking on my shoes.

Unknown said...

haha, yea some ppl who get paid million for little can be funny. but hey, i watch the show, so i can't complain.