It's Racist-Pat!

Well, our old buddy Pat Robertson is at it again. I'm sure a good number of you heard about his statement regarding Ariel Sharon's stroke. If you haven't, here is a little taste for you:

The prophet Joel makes it very clear that God has enmity against those who, quote, "divide my land." God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible, he says, "This is my land." And for any prime minister of Israel who decides he going carve it up and give it away, God says, "No. This is mine." And the same thing -- I had a wonderful meeting with Yitzhak Rabin in 1974. He was tragically assassinated, and it was terrible thing that happened, but nevertheless, he was dead. And now Ariel Sharon, who was again a very likeable person, a delightful person to be with. I prayed with him personally. But here he is at the point of death. He was dividing God's land, and I would say woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the EU, the United Nations or United States of America. God said, "This land belongs to me, you better leave it alone."

Sweet, huh? Now, with all of the bible quoting and his blustery way of talking, you may not quite understand what exactly Pat is really trying to say here. Luckily, I speak Idiot fluently, having been born in Iowa and all. So I will give you all a better translation of what Pat was really saying:

Those God-damned camel jockeys don't deserve to live in the Holy Land, and God is going to strike down you fucking Christ killers if you let them have any of it.

Pat really should hire me as his speech writer. I can save him a lot of words and energy by just getting him straight to the point of what he's really trying to say.

No word from the Falwell camp yet. But I'm sure it won't be too long before that jerk will have something to say.

For anyone who still doubts, despite their support of the state of Israel (which they have self-serving reasons for doing), that evangelicals hate Jews, here is a thought I've had lately: According to what evangelicals believe, anyone who accepts Christ as their personal savior gets in to Heaven. No matter what they've done in life. So right before Hitler killed himself it is very possible he hedged his bets and proclaimed his love for Jesus or something along those lines.

And that means this: It is very reasonable to believe, in the views of an evangelical, that Hitler is in Heaven and Simon Wiesenthal is rotting in Hell.

Chew on that thought for a minute.