Inside The Out Of Tune Studio

Inside the Actors Studio has taught us so very much that we wanted to know about people. I mean, my life is so much more fulfilled after learning what makes Julia Roberts and Jennifer Lopez tick. But the best part is the oh-so-never pretentious French guy questions at the end. A little known fact is that I was invited on to the show, and did the taping, but it was never aired. Something about the FCC and nipples, I don't know. But I got ahold of a tanscript and want to share with you my answers to the famed questionnaire.


James Lipton: So I know turn to The Questionnaire, first conceptualized (dramatic pause) by my hero (dramatic pause), Bernard (dramatic pause) Pivot...

Out Of Tune: Hey watch the spit there Jimmy.

JL: Sorry, it's hard to say the name of my idol without the appropriate French spittle. So here we go. (dramatic pause). What (dramatic pause) is your favorite (dramatic pause) word?

OOT: Leftist.

JL: What is your LEAST (dramatic pause) favorite word?

OOT: Dubya.

JL: What turns you (dramatic pause) on?

OOT: Why Jim, you looking for a piece of ass?

JL: We'll talk later. What turns (dramatic pause) you (dramatic pause) off?

OOT: Pretentious name dropping talk show hosts with self-importance issues and elephant-sized egos.

JL: Yes, me too..

OOT: I was talking about you, ass wipe.

JL: Ha ha. See kids, I told you he was funny. Reminds me of when I was working at (dramatic pause) Comedia Del Arte with the great (dramatic pause) Maurice Chevalier...

OOT: OK, Jim Jim that's enough, this is about me remember.

JL: Oh yes of course, pardonnez-moi. What (dramatic pause) sound do you love?

OOT: Tom DeLay being smothered by a pillow.

JL: Oh yes, I remember when I had to smother Desdemona in a 1963 production of Othe...

OOT: Let's stay focused Lippy.

JL: Yes of course. What sound do you (dramatic pause) HATE?

OOT: "War on terror" spoken with a fake Texas drawl.

JL: What profession (loooonnnnnng dramatic pause), other than your own, would you like to attempt?

OOT: Wilco roadie. And I'd do it for free. (I know, not really a revelation to anyone)

JL: What profession would you (dramatic pause) NOT like to participate in?

OOT: Reporter/Prostitute for Talon "News".

JL: What is your favorite curse word?

OOT: Doody.

JL: If Heaven exists (extremely long dramatic pause), what would you like to hear GOD say (more dramatic pause) when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

OOT: Thank Me your here! I've got the Pope in a strangle hold and I need someone to kick him in the head a zillion times. Oh, and here's a cosmopolitan for you. There's more at the bar.

JL: And now I'll turn you over to the minions, er... students for Q & A...


I then had to answer 67 questions about "the process".


(c) The New School Actors Studio