Immunize Me

So some idiot members of the GOP are in a tizzy over the fact that a team of congressional committee staffers were advised to get immunizations before a trip to a couple of NASCAR events. They were advised to do so because they were going to be visiting the health care facilities, detention centers and other places where they could be exposed to communicable diseases. They were doing this to make sure that there was appropriate coordination and communication between the Department of Homeland Security and local authorities in case of a major disaster at a large event much like one where there are hundreds of thousands of rednecks watching cars go around in a circle.

So of course the Republicans went out of their way to make a big deal out of the non-issue, playing to their brain-dead base by issuing silly statements like these:

"Democrats should know that there is no preventive measure yet designed to ward off the blue-collar values and patriotism that NASCAR fans represent."

---Linda Daves, chairwoman of the North Carolina Republican Party

"To suggest that vaccines are needed to attend NASCAR races is insulting to millions of hardworking Americans who love their country and the smell of burnt rubber."

---Rep. Tim Walberg (R-MI)

There are more, but I'll spare you the stupidity. You get the point.

It is amazing how these fools can go out of their way to make an issue where there isn't one. Like Barak Obama not wearing one of those silly American flag lapel pins.

But there is a real issue here. It's not that they got immunized that is the problem. It's that they got all the wrong immunizations. They wasted their time getting things like hepatitis A, hepatitis B, tetanus, diphtheria and influenza. Well those aren't going to do you any good at a NASCAR race.

How is a tetanus shot going to protect you from the "wife-beater" shaped sun burn?

Think about all the exposure those poor congressional staffers got because they weren't given their tooth-loss immunization. And what about the pills to protect them from ending up living in a trailer park? And don't forget the southern drawl mouth rinse, which also offers the extra protection stopping you from liking the taste of possum.

Don't forget the hair gel that protects against growing a white hood on your head and the body lotion to ward off swastika tattoos.

And I just can't believe they sent these poor fools out into the field without the anti-sex-with-your-sister booster. That's the most important protection you need at a NASCAR event. Just ahead of the serum that keeps you safe from finding cars going around in a circle for hours interesting. Or thinking that it in any way resembles a sport

Personally, I wouldn't have gone without a haz-mat suit.