Jock-ularity

I've been accused many o' time of not having any respect for religion. Guilty as charged of course, and pretty damn proud of that.

But really, how am I supposed to take religion seriously? Those of you of the religious persuasion don't actually take it seriously yourselves. Oh, you say you do, but you really don't. Most of you, I've noticed, just treat god as your good luck charm. He's been relegated to the same status as a rabbit's foot. Though an imaginary deity is at least less gruesome than a piece of a dead animal's carcass.

Watching the baseball playoffs I am constantly seeing players who have a little ritual of tapping their shoulders, chest or whatever and kissing their hand and then pointing to the sky to thank god.

Now really, you want to try to convince me that there is some sort of all powerful god and somehow he's responsible for helping some one hit a little white ball with a stick? I'm supposed to not laugh at that?

And pitchers who kiss the little cross on their necklace before they pitch. With both these guys hoping for god to help them, how's an omnipotent to choose? What this means, Christian folk, is that if you are right (which you are not) your god is one horrible parent who plays favorites. And why would I pray to that?

And what about these sports types who are always claiming that it was god who helped them win the game, or score that point or break some record? Why does god get the credit for success but never the blame for failure? And the praying believers on the losing side, does god just hate those fuckers?

Football players are always praying at the end of games in the muddle of the field in a huddle. I suppose they are thanking god for not turning their brain to Jello that week. But not playing a game that involves smacking your head against things would be better than praying to escape a concussion. It's not that hard to figure that one out. If you don't want to get hurt or die from something dangerous, you probably should just skip it instead of asking god to protect you. Football-playing Christians I guess aren't really that different from those poison-drinking, snake-handling ones.

I really love the boxers who thank god and give him credit for their feats. Really? God was there to give you the strength to beat the snot out of that guy and knock him unconscious? Maybe even left him with a bloodied face and put him in the hospital? Damn, that dude must have really pissed god off. What was he, a child molester or something? No? He was just another one of the people who honor god and pray too him all the time too? Oh. Well shit, he must suck at it.

See, if he's helping the winners that means he's deciding who loses.

That would make god a pretty big asshole.

And apparently he's a huge Rockies fan. Maybe it's because they are the team closest to heaven.