Auto Reply: Out Of Office

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you my adoring fan, but I will not be writing a blog for about the next three weeks. My wife and I, after more than three years of marriage, are finally taking our honeymoon. We will be in Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam and I won't be getting the chance to write any of my wonderful thoughts to share with the world because, well, if I went to southeast Asia and spent my time in Internet cafes I should have my head examined.

I am more than excited for this trip. We're starting off in Bangkok and then working our way through Cambodia to Vietnam and ending in Ha Noi. Hopefully I'll have something to write about when we get back, after the 26th of November.

One thing already has given me a snicker. The first hotel we are staying at in Bangkok is called the Atlanta. All over their website are warnings that absolutely no sex tourism is welcome and you'll be booted for even suspicion of it. On the top of their "caveat" page is the line "The Atlanta is run on conservative principles and fosters traditional values."

Now, I see that on a hotel in America there is no way I stay there. But seeing how Thailand has way too many skeezy fuckin' Westerners going to get their kicks with 14-year-olds, this is a good thing to see.

But there is another section that mentions their video/DVD showings and it says this:

"Quality movie shows including the largest selection of films celebrating good food and of films set in or relating to East Asia."

I can't wait to see how big the largest selection of "films celebrating good food" (???) looks like.

Right underneath that announcement is this bold-faced and italicized warning:

"Pop music, violent or pornographic videos are banned."

So wait, not only did pop music get included in the same category as violent and pornographic videos, it was actually listed first! Oh yea, I can't wait to check this place out.

In the meantime, for your blog fix while I'm gone, go on over to Hairshirt where my friend Joe writes things about a zillion times funnier than me. He also has a key to my place, so if you need to borrow a cup of sugar or anything, he'll happy to get that for ya.

Or check out my buddy The Beige One, who posts about as often as me (brothers in laziness) and is almost as good at writing long, meandering, blogs.

For your fix of my style of angry ranting, well, I guess you could go watch the homeless guy that yells at people outside the 7-11.

That should hold you over until I get back.