Divergent Paths

In 1985 The Smiths toured America for the first time. Lead singer Morrissey, guitarist Johnny Marr and the rest of the band who most people can't name were joined on the tour bus by opening act Billy Bragg. The Smiths and Billy had seen their careers take off around the same time and it seemed fitting that they would be on the same bill for The Smiths first U.S. tour (Billy Bragg had already made his American debut the year before).

It must have been quite a double-bill to see. First a man comes out and plays a guitar and sings at the crowd his socialist rants against Thatcher's England and the conservative-controlled media followed by an onslaught of a full band railing against, well, Thatcher's England, corporal punishment and eating meat.

I didn't get to see this tour. I was only 14 at the time and they never even came close to my hometown of Atlanta. I ended up never seeing the Smiths at all. Due to their short-lived existence, they only played the States on one more tour, which skipped Atlanta again.

I have since that time seen Morrissey a few times and Billy Bragg, being one of my two favorite singer-songwriters, dozens of times.

My wife and I just saw them both recently, in an eight day span. Seeing shows by two legendary artists on consecutive weekends is a damn good week.

What was interesting about the two shows though, was that something that was a perfect fit in 1985, Morrissey and Bragg on the same stage, would seem absolutely wrong today. The two concerts were a crazy study in contrasts.

The first weekend we went and saw Billy at The Concert Hall at The New York Society for Ethical Culture. A beautiful, intimate space that holds about 800 people in comfortable pew-like seats. People working at the venue were really laid back and friendly and we were shown to our seats. They seemed to be people who work at the Society and there wasn't a yellow "security" shirt in sight. Not one bouncer stood in front of the stage.

Billy played a great solo show for a good two hours. Went through some of his greatest songs, did some political proselytizing, told jokes and really connected with the audience. He was on stage for a solid two hours. A classic Billy show, really stripped down and casual. No big theatrics or costumes, just a man with a guitar, three to five chords, jokes and a point of view. I walked out bouncing on air.

The next weekend we went to the Hammerstein Ballroom to see Moz. Wow, what a difference. Now I'm not a big fan of big venues anyway, the Hammerstein I think holds close to 3,000, but they can work if designed and run well. The old Poplar Creek amphitheatre in suburban Chicago was a fine example of that. Sadly it was torn down over a decade ago. I'm old.

Anyway, the Hammerstein is neither well designed nor well run. I think it may be the worst place I've seen a show in years. Off the top of my head I think only Rosemont Horizon in Illinois and the Agganis Arena in Boston are as bad or worse. We had general admission seating in the first mezzanine so we got there early to be able to get a decent spot. The Hammerstein only puts the door opening time on their ticket, web site and advertising, not the actual show time. We showed up at 6:00 for the 6:30 doors. After the half an hour in line we then got yelled at over and over by yellow shirts to keep moving, have our tickets out and have our bags open. Then the lovely experience of being patted down by some guy making eight bucks an hour before being herded like cattle into the venue. We got to the first mezzanine and the bored looking woman there told us to sit anywhere except seats blocked off by yellow tape.

The yellow tape covered the first six or so rows of the entire center section. Fucking bourgeois bullshit.

The seating arrangement was complete shit. Chairs that looked like they belonged at a wedding reception shoved as close together as possible, leaving no shoulder room between concert-goers. The tiers they were sitting on were obviously designed to hold a row of chairs with small tables in front of them. That would have been great. Too bad that's not how they did it. Instead they squeezed in two rows of seats. So no leg room to go along with the lack of shoulder space. I hadn't had this small of a space to sit in since a flight from Hurghada to Cairo on EgyptAir.

For this we paid $65, plus service charges, each uncomfortable seat.

My wife went to check out the merch table. She came back a minute later and said that the security woman wouldn't let her go. Once we're in the mezzanine we can't leave. And we would eventually discover that the show didn't start until 8:00. I already couldn't feel my legs anymore.

Eventually got through a completely shitty opening act called Girl In A Coma (hey, there's a way to get an opening gig, pander to the headliner by naming your band after one of his songs) to see Morrissey take the stage sometime after 9:00 I think, though it felt like the next day.

Moz did a great selection of his hits from both The Smiths and his solo work. A slick production with film projections before his entrance, fancy light show and matching costumes for his band. And of course he struts around the stage and postures in a way not unlike a Frank Sinatra, often reaching out to the front of the stage to let the crowd touch his hands and give him flowers and other gifts. The rabid fans love hm for it. As stiff as I think he seems at his shows, he is still a great performer. He knows the power of a pose and that he is a sex symbol to tons of girls and boys who were teenagers in the 80s, including my wife. Other times seeing him I thought he seemed bored and was just phoning it in. Now I understand that standing there looking stylishly bored is the performance. Seeming distant is a key part of the attraction.

They just eat it up. It makes them want even more. At the beginning of the show I told my wife that my guess was five people making it up on stage to try to hug Morrissey. To pat myself on the back, I was right on. During the one song encore exactly five fans made it all the way up to the stage and got to hug the man himself, and the crowd went nuts every time. Many more tried and didn't make it. If it hadn't been for the front-of-stage bouncers and the on-stage bouncer it probably would have been about 30.

It was a sight of theatrical excess.

It was during this that I thought of the Billy Bragg show eight days earlier. Not only were the show so completely different, but so were the crowds. The idea of a hardcore Bragg fan, which I count myself as one, rushing to the stage for a hug is laughable.

The Bard of Barking also gave his fans a considerably longer show for less money.

Trying to imagine that these two guys had shared the same stage before was almost impossible when I figured it was quite possible that my wife and I are the only two people in New York that went to both of their shows.

I really wouldn't be surprised if we were.