Cell Out

So I went to Radio Shack and joined The Dark Side yesterday. I got my first cell phone. Well, it is a prepaid type, so I didn't go completely Darth Sidious or anything. I pay as I go, so I won't be sitting on the subway talking with my friends to pass the time or, hopefully, any of those other things I hate about cell phone users. I got it basically so I could have a phone while I'm traveling. I'm going to L.A. this week and need to be able to get ahold of people while I'm there so I can meet up with friends and the such. Plus, the wife can find me if she needs to. And it is so hard to find pay phones now, so my hand has been forced.

The funny thing was trying to figure out what and how to buy. I did a bunch of looking stuff up on the net, because I was no way going to walk into a store blindly asking to get a cell phone. I would've ended up with an empty bank account and a 10-year contract. So I decided on Virgin's "pay-as-you-go" cell. Pretty good deal, same per-minute price no matter where I'm at, and they had a phone on sale for $40. So I go to the Radio Shack. I find the phone among the ones at the Virgin display and one of those creepy Radio Shack employees comes over and asks me if I need help. I point to the phone I want and ask him the only question I had. I just wanted to make sure I read the roaming rule right, so I asked him to make sure calling outside of my area was the same price. So no problem. I point to the phone and I say "this one is on sale right?"

"Yeah", he says, and then asks me if it's for a kid.

"No, it's for me."

Apparently this kind of phone plan is popular for parents to get their children, and the fact I was buying the phone as well sparked this question. After he calls over to a younger kid employee to help me, he points out a phone higher up on the shelf that he says I should get instead. The price on that phone is $99.99. I make a remark about how it's too expensive and he says he thinks it might be on sale too. So as I'm asking him what the difference is the kid has come over, baggy pants and all, and the manager goes to see if the other phone is on sale, and tells the kid to tell me why I should get the $100 phone. He says the flip-phones are better.

"Why, is it clearer?"I ask.

And I swear to god this is what he said: "It's cooler."

"Cooler?"

"Yeah."

"Oh kaaayyy, so is there a real reason to buy this over the other one?"

And he goes to tell me that with the flip-phone you can't accidentally hit the button while its in your pocket and make a phone call that will take your minutes. But he also mentions that you can lock the keypad on the cheaper one anyway, with one little motion. He also mentions that the sound isn't any better or clearer. The manager come back to tell me that the pricier phone is in fact on sale as well - For $89.99.

"You know what? I'm going to stick with the $40 phone instead of the $90 one."

So white boy hip-hop kid goes to get my phone. He come back with two, and says he just found one he didn't know they had and told me it was just like the other one but that it was on sale - for $89.99.

"But it's got a camera!", he says.

"Ohh kaaayyy. But I've already got a camera, what I need is a phone."

So after turning down their protection plan, and that seemed to annoy him, he finally starts ringing me up. He asks me how I've survived without a cell phone. I was tempted, but resisted because I just wanted out of the hell that is Radio Shack, to try to explain to the dumbass that cell phones were not the same as food, water and shelter. I don't think he would have understood anyway. It just would have made his head hurt.

So I have a cell. Please god don't let it make me stupid like these other people.