FOX Holes

What the fuck is with these people? For those of you that don't watch FOX News, have you heard some of the shit that was said on Murdoch's little propaganda machine after the London bombing? Well, get a load of this shit, courtesy of our friends at Media Matters.

First, there's this dick Brian Kilmead suggesting that this was a good thing to happen. According to him, we can now put global warming on the coal-fired back burner, along with African aid, and just stick to terrorism like we should have been all along.

So everyone knows that the day before the bombing London was awarded the 2012 Olympics. This is what FOX host John Gibson said then:

By the way, just wanted to tell you people, we missed -- the International Olympic Committee missed a golden opportunity today. If they had picked France, if they had picked France instead of London, to hold the Olympics, it would have been the one time we could look forward to where we didn't worry about terrorism. They'd blow up Paris, and who cares?

And then he said this after the attacks:

The bombings in London: This is why I thought the Brits should let the French have the Olympics -- let somebody else be worried about guys with backpack bombs for a while.

Where to begin on this guy? First, he speaks as though the awarding of the Olympics is somehow the reason for this bombing. So a big coordinated terrorist attack was planned and carried out in less than a day? Riiiight. And this whole French hating thing is just so odd. What I find the funniest about the whole thing is that Americans basically hate the French for the same reasons people hate Americans. A rude, angry, fuck-you attitude and they are completely impatient with people who come to their country and don't know their language. And we bash them for not going along with their war. Gibson, and other right-wing nutjobs, talk like we have some sort of kinship with the British and slam the French for being against our war. What none of them seem to remember is that the British people are against the war as much as the French. It's just that Tony Blair doesn't care what his people want, he is only concerned with pleasing his master Darth W. Sidious. Londoners will still be against the war and Tony Blair's approval ratings will drop back to the toilet after about six months. But for some reason, FOX thinks the British people are their comrades in the "War On Terror" (don't even get me started on that phrase). And holy shit, what kind of "journalist" comes out and says it would be ok if this city or that city got bombed? It might qualify as the worst thing said on FOX News, except that our old friend Brit Hume was working that day too.

Hume, FOX's Washington bureau managing editor, is the ass-hole who, early in the war in Iraq, compared the number of deaths of American soldiers in Iraq to California's murder rate and declared that the troops were safer in Iraq than they would be in The Golden State. So he's a big prick. But he topped himself this time. This guy is on the air hours after the bombing in London, and he says what his "first thought" was when he heard about the attacks:

I mean, my first thought when I heard -- just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, "Hmmm, time to buy."

Seriously, that's what he said. Fucking "time to buy" right after finding out that a bunch of people are probably dead. The man is scum. Can you imagine if this guy had been around reporting on the end of the Holocaust in WWII? "Boy, when I first heard about Auschwitz I sure wished I had invested in an industrial oven company before the war"

I hope he gets beat up by a Brit. Better yet, a Frenchman who lives in London. That'd be sweet.

Theirs vs. Ours

I have been following all of the developments today in the London Underground attack, and there are a couple of things that struck me.

I have certainly had my problems with Tony Blair the last few years (mostly for being Bush's bitch), but he does have one big plus over our moron. Read this statement he made right after the attacks today and see if you can point out the big difference between this and the dumb Texan's first statement after the World Trade Center attacks:

I'm just going to make a short statement to you on the terrible events that have happened in London earlier today. And I hope you understand that at the present time we're still trying to establish what has happened. There's a limit to what information I can give you. And I'll simply try and tell you the information as best I can at the moment.

It's reasonably clear there have been a series of terrorist attacks in London. There are, obviously, casualties, both people that have died and people seriously injured. And our thoughts and prayers, of course, are with the victims and their families.

It's my intention to leave the G-8 within the next couple of hours and go down to London and get a report face to face with the police and the emergency services and the ministers that have been dealing with this, and then to return later this evening.

It is the will of all the leaders at the G-8, however, that the meeting should continue in my absence, that we should continue to discuss the issues that we were going to discuss and reach the conclusions which we were going to reach.

Each of the countries around that table has some experience of the effects of terrorism. And all the leaders, as they will indicate a little bit later, share our complete resolution to defeat this terrorism.

It's particularly barbaric that this has happened on a day when people are meeting to try to help the problems of poverty in Africa and the long-term problems of climate change in the environment.

Just as it is reasonably clear that this is a terrorist attack, or a series of terrorist attacks, it's also reasonably clear that it is designed and aimed to coincide with the opening of the G-8.

There will be time to talk later about this.

It's important, however, that those engaged in terrorism realize that our determination to defend our values and our way of life is greater than their determination to cause death and destruction to innocent people in a desire to impose extremism on the world.

Anyone? That's right, nowhere in there does he tell everyone to go shopping. Kudos to Tony Blair for not being a complete, disconnected-from-reality, idiot.

And here is a little of our dumbfuck's first statement today:

On the one hand, we got people here who are working to alleviate poverty and to help rid the world of the pandemic of AIDS and that are working on ways to have a clean environment. And on the other hand, you've got people killing innocent people. And the contrast couldn't be clearer between the intentions and the hearts of those of us who care deeply about human rights and human liberty, and those who kill, those who've got such evil in their heart that they will take the lives of innocent folks.

Yes Mr. President we do have people at that meeting who are trying to accomplish those things. Unfortunately, you're there too, putting up roadblocks every step of the way. You strip money away from real sex-ed programs and veto the Kyoto agreement on global warming, and now you try to lump yourself in as one of the people trying to stop the AIDS pandemic and save the environment?

What an ass hole.

And for the love of god would you please stop calling everyone "folk"? It may have helped you win the votes of Ma & Pa Kettle in Alabama, but you're embarrassing the rest of us on the world stage.

Scroll Down

As you have probably been able to tell the last couple of weeks, my blog seems to have a slight technical problem. For some unknown reason there is a huge gap between the title of the most recent entry and the post itself, that makes it seem on first glance to be blank. The fine folks at Blogger.com have replied to my email that there is a bug they are working on and hope to get it taken care of soon. It seems to be taking longer than I hoped, but how can I complain about a service I get for free? In the meantime, just remember to scroll down past my links to see the newest rant from me. Or not. Do whatever the fuck you want, I'm not the boss of you.

The Pollutinator

This last Sunday The Independent newspaper of London ran an op-ed by Arnold Schwarzenegger about global warming. I'm sure you've heard about it, as it has been getting a decent amount of press. So the Republican governor of California disagrees with the leader of his party and believes that global warming is: a) real, and b) caused by humans. Here is a little bit of what he said, courtesy of the L.A. times. (The Independent wanted a whole British Pound for the original article and I just couldn't justify spending that much money on an piece written by a talking monkey):

"The debate is over. We know the science. We see the threat posed by changes in our climate," Schwarzenegger wrote. "And we know the time for action is now.

"I ask citizens and governments everywhere to do their part by conserving energy, reducing the use of fossil fuels, reducing waste and taking every opportunity to work together for a cleaner, healthier tomorrow."

and this:

"Many people have falsely assumed that you have to choose between protecting the environment and protecting the economy," he wrote. "Nothing could be further from the truth. In California we will do both."

OK, so far so good. We need politicians who stand up for the environment. Global warming is a very real problem and it needs to be addressed. And we damn well know this current administration is going to do dick about it. But when looking for a leader on this issue should we really turn to this guy?:



So the guy with the fucking Hummer cares about our air quality? I've got one suggestion for the first step he could take: QUIT DRIVING THE HUMMER!

Seriously, this is one of the things that pisses me off about my fellow Americans. They claim to care about the environment and think we should do something about it, as long as they aren't the ones who have to make any sacrifice or alter their lifestyle at all. How many times do you think Arnie has taken the train between his home in L.A. and his office in Sacremento? Or do you think he's been driving his 10 miles/gallon Hummer up there? I've never once read in the news about any Arnold sightings on the L.A. subway either.

The first thing Arnold did as Governor of California was cut dramatically the cost of car license plates, in effect giving people more incentive to drive. And he cares about global warming? I'll believe that when I see something in the news about his multi-billion dollar plan to expand L.A.'s public transportation system. Until then, all his talk is nothing but more hot air adding to the problem.

Funny Ha-Ha

Gary Trudeau is still one of the best satirists in the world...

Sunday's Doonesbury

Random Thoughts

Sandra Day O'Connor is stepping down . We are so very screwed. At least if it were Rehnquist we would just be replacing one right-wing nutjob with another. Now a moderate gets replaced by that nutjob instead.

Oh, and when Rehnquist does retire, here's a chilling thought: Chief Justice Scalia.

Kenny Rogers (the baseball player, not The Gambler) went loco on some poor cameraman just doing his job and shoved the guy and tried to bust up his camera. In the aftermath his idiot manager is saying things like "he's frustrated, that's not the Kenny Rogers I know". Oh bullshit. Let's please remember that all of these jocks in pro sports are the same assholes who dunked kids' heads in toilets and shoved them in lockers during high school. A bully is a bully.

Have you seen those BP commercials that try to paint them as some environmentally friendly oil company? Do you hate them as much as I do? Every time I have to see that stupid woman compare giving up your car to not having chocolate I want to scream. I just want to smack her so much. She's only shot from chest up in the ad. I'm guessing it's because her ass won't fit in the frame because of all the chocolate and driving too much.
And that one with the fucking Yuppie woman with her kids in the park going on and on how oil companies should have good air quality standards, even "better than the EPA standards" she says. What she probably isn't telling you is that she got to the park from her house five blocks away in her 12/mpg SUV that's just out of camera range. Typical American, always somebody else's job to make sure we have a clean environment.

Robert Novak. This asshole reveals the name of a CIA operative as political payback for her husband being critical of Bush, and other reporters are going to go to jail over it? Word in Washington is that he has already given the Feds the name of his "confidential" informant, to keep his ass out of jail. As Jon Stewart has said several times, what a douchebag.

I didn't think it was possible to hate Tom Cruise anymore than I already did. I was wrong.

I read a recent interview in the Boston Globe where Lindsay Lohan refers to a recent role as "empowering for girls". The Movie she's talking about? Herbie: Fully Loaded.

Like Their Falling Prices...

John Walton died yesterday after crashing his experimental, ultralight aircraft, otherwise known as billionaire-guy diversion toy. He's the middle son of Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton. Wal-Mart's PR guys are already in full gear talking about what a great guy he was and all he did for charity and his awards from Vietnam blah blah blah. And while the mainstream media buys into it and praises the life of a guy they didn't even know about before today, just remember a few things when wading through the bullshit on CNN and FOX.

The big thing they talk about is his work "to help to educate poor children" by pushing for school vouchers. Translation: He wanted to get rid of public schools.

Walton was the 11th richest person in the world, tied with his youngest brother behind his older brother and ahead of his mom and sister. And how did this Republican-loved family get to be this rich? Hard work? No. They inherited it, every single one of them. These are the people the conservatives want to save from the estate tax. And the capital gains tax.

While he had a net worth of $18.2 billion for doing nothing more than being born into the right family, most Wal-Mart employees cannot afford the company health insurance and many are poor enough to be eligible for food stamp assistance even though they work full time for the richest company on the planet.

A lot will be made in the press about what he has done for kids through the charity he runs for the Walton Family. What they won't mention is the fact that he sits on the board of a company that makes billions off of products made with child labor. If he really cared about kids he could have started with them.

They will talk about what a nice guy he was and march out some "regular employees" to talk about how nice and ordinary he was. They probably won't mention his company's efforts over the years to suppress workers' rights and wages, or all of the union busting so they won't have to pay people an extra 50 cents an hour. If this guy was so nice, why didn't he use his influence as a board member and one of the biggest stock-holders to help those regular employees? He could have stood up in front of the board and said "Hey, $8 billion net profit a year is good and everything, but what if we made $4 billion instead and used all that extra money to give our employees full benefits and a couple of more dollars an hour and made sure all of our suppliers paid fair wages and didn't use child labor? And we'd all still be rich as piss anyway."

He could've, but he didn't.

So while Wal-Mart employees around the world were plugging away for their measly paychecks and making him more billions, John-boy was goofing off with his dangerous rich-boy hobby on a Monday afternoon. The rest of us should be so lucky.

Fuck him.

Common Ground

With all the heated feelings these days between people of different political beliefs I'm always looking for common thoughts and ideas with people that I normally have major disagreements. While reading the paper yesterday I had one of those "common ground" moments. There was an article about Billy Graham's upcoming crusade in New York City and I came across this:

''I look forward to death," Graham said at a press conference ahead of his three-day New York crusade, set to begin Friday. ''I look forward to seeing God face to face."

I thought to myself, "What a coincidence. I'm looking forward to Billy Graham dying too."

See? We can all agree on something.

Burn Baby Burn

So the U.S. House of Representatives once again has passed an "anti-flag burning" amendment to the Constitution. It will now go to the Senate, where it will probably die once again but it will be close. What the fuck is wrong with these people? I'm trying to figure out what goes on in the mind of these twits that this is important to them, or how it is they don't see that it is the most un-American thing you could do to the Constitution since Prohibition.

This follows an incident that happened in Gloucester or Salem or some city north of Boston that I stay away from. I guess they have some exhibit of American flags at some waterfront park every year after Memorial Day until the 4th of July. One night earlier this week someone burned or ripped or in some way destroyed one of them. Just one. Talk about a lazy vandal. Anyway, I saw this story on the local news and they were interviewing, I honestly don't know who this guy was, I assume someone who has something to do with putting the display up or something. And this guy seems just anguished over the whole thing and goes on to say that flag burning is "the lowest thing someone can do".

Really, that's what he said. In about five seconds I was able to rattle off in my head several things that I think most people would agree are "lower" than flag burning.

Killing 6 million people based on their religion.
Killing anyone for any reason other than self defense.
Rape.
Child molesting.
Wife-beating.
Pimping.
Lynching someone.

Seriously, it took no thought to think of those things right away. I'm sure if I thought about it for an hour or so I could fill a book with things that every sane person would agree is worse than burning a piece of cloth with some red and white stripes painted on it. Of all the things to get worked up over. There are innocent people being brutalized in places like Sudan and Zimbabwe, and our elected officials put this stupid shit at the top of their agenda?

Look, I know some people are offended by it. You know what I say to these people? GET THE FUCK OVER IT! The First Amendment is supposed to protect offensive speech. Popular speech doesn't need protecting. I think the Nazis marching through Skoki Illinois is amazingly offensive, but that doesn't mean they don't have a right to do it. I find Pat Robertson, Billy Graham and his ass-hole son, Jerry Falwell, and the Southern Baptist Convention offensive. But you don't see me out there trying to get them declared unconstitutional. Not that I wouldn't love that. But just like the Constitution protects me from those dicks, it also protects them from me. And they should thank their lucky stars too, because if it wasn't for that protection I'd be pulling out the can o' wup-ass on them.

And I have read some stupid rhetoric coming from these idiots over the last few days. They try to make it sound like people could come grab Old Glory off of your flag pole, have a bon fire and that it would be perfectly legal. Well, as you all know, that's just fucking ridiculous. Charges of theft and destruction of private property apply to flags just like they apply to anything else you own. It's against the law to steal someone else's flag just like it's against the law to steal their car. This stupid law would make it illegal for me to buy, or make my own, American flag and then destroy it.

So here's hoping that just enough Senators are sane enough to protect us from the jingoists once again. My two Senators are voting against it. Find out where yours stands and urge them to do the right thing.

Now where did I put my matchbook?

Not So Happy Birthday

This last Sunday was the 60th birthday of Aung San Suu Kyi, the democratically elected leader of Burma. I have written about her in the past. Her party won a landslide election in Burma in 1990, and she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1991. The ruling military junta refused to allow her and her party to take office after the election. She was arrested, along with many others, and has been under house arrest for about ten of the last 16 years. During times she is not under house arrest, her movements are closely monitored and she is not allowed to speak in public. She has at times been denied the right to travel outside the country, and at other times she has chosen not to leave (like when her husband was on his deathbed in Europe) because it was known that she would not be allowed back into Burma, or Myanmar, as the ruling junta calls the country. She is currently under house arrest again (the ruling junta actually claim it is for her safety) and was alone on her birthday, as no visitors were allowed. She is not even allowed access to a piano, which is reportedly one of her great pleasures in life. I know that's not as cruel as the killings of thousands that they've done over the years, but still. So, 16 years after she should have taken office as the prime minister of Burma she spends her 60th birthday alone and locked up.

And what have the great western democracies done about it? Well, nothing really. Sure, our president is great at lip service, and we supposedly have economic sanctions against "Myanmar". But for some reason the U.S. company UNOCAL is able to keep pumping oil and natural gas out of Burma and put millions of dollars in the hands of the oppressors of the Burmese people. So those sanctions aren't working so well. And Europe has done no better. And countries such as India, Bangladesh, Thailand and China(no surprise there) have done even worse and actively supported the evil regime outright.

I'm sorry the leaders of the world have abandoned you Ms. Suu Kyi. And I'm sorry you spent you birthday alone, and without music.

But I wish you a happy birthday regardless, Madame Prime Minister. I hope the next one is very different. You are a hero and an inspiration. You, and your people, deserve better.

Pop Culture Clash

Sorry I haven't written anything lately for your reading pleasure my millions of fans. It's been a shitty week. Don't ask. No, really don't.

So I'm watching CNN this morning. I'm sure it's because I have some sort of self-hatred problem that I force myself to sit through pretty-boy Bill Hemmer and that stupid, stupid beauty pageant winner Soledad O'Brien. Seriously, years after Helen Thomas paved the way for serious women journalist, we've still got mostly dunderheads like Soledad and that fucking Deborah Norville, who I'm convinced sucked some serious network dicks to get where she is today because there is no other explanation for her success. None. Same goes for that Hemmer guy. I'm willing to bet that his nickname among the stagehands and production assistants at CNN is "Hummer".

But the real point of this rant today is this segment they have on CNN's American Morning called 90-Second Pop. If you've never seen this little bit you've really been missing out. Now some days, they talk about a new movie coming out and if it's any good, or maybe about the new TV season, or about good shows that got canceled or saved despite poor ratings (Yay Arrested Development). But there is also the very dark side. And you can guess what I'm talking about, all of the relationship crap like Jen & Ben, or Jen & whoeverthisweeksguyis, Brad and whoever, blah blah blah. So today had the b-team panel on (whenever you see the guy from US Weekly or dangly earring girl from Teen People you know it's the b-team) and they started talking about Tom Cruise and whoever this chick is that he went all weird on Oprah over. So I learn from them that he announced yesterday in Paris that they are now engaged. OK, so what, I think. I still don't care.

But what struck me as funny, was how the woman (girl) from Teen People went on and on suggesting this is a big publicity stunt and acting like she thinks Tom and this chick are really shallow people. HELLLOOOOOOOOOO! YOU WORK FOR TEEN PEOPLE, YOU STUPID EX-CHEERLEADER. And I just love how someone who makes their living writing about celebrities' private lives (for teens no less) has the audacity to even try to bash someone else's character or motives.

I really have to stop watching CNN in the morning.

Oh Brother

So I've ordered tickets from TicketMaster.com a total of once I think. Usually I'll go to one of the outlets and buy them with cash. A lot of bands I like also give you the chance to buy tickets through alternative ticket sellers before they go on sale through TicketMaster. I also like a lot of groups that play smaller clubs, so I can just get them at the door. But, as usual, I digress.

So ever since I made my one order through TicketMaster for a couple of Wilco tickets last year I get emails, about once a week I think, announcing shows that I might be interested in. Now, in this era of Big Brother commerce, a lot of us are getting used to this. And a lot of these companies are really good at it. If you've ever ordered anything from Amazon you've probably noticed that they like to make suggestions for you when you visit them again. I've bought three things for myself on Amazon, two Robyn Hitchcock CDs and his live concert on DVD. I like to go to record stores, but some artists just don't get stocked in the local shops. So Amazon came in really handy. But I never knew about the whole "recommended for..." thing until I actually made a purchase a few months ago. And I was really shocked by how decent the recommendations were. Along with suggesting several Robyn Hitchcock albums that I already own, they recommended CDs and DVDs from They Might Be Giants, Frank Zappa, Richard Thompson, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, and NRBQ, among others. A pretty good job I thought. A typical Robyn fan would probably like most of the people on that list. That Big Brother shit still creeps me out, but they sure are good at it. I imagine this has been one of the keys to Amazon taking over the world one person at a time. Thank fucking Christ they don't include gifts you had sent to other people to calculate your recommendation list. I shudder to think what shit they would be trying to get me to buy based on my Mothers Day gift of the I Love Lucy - The Complete 2nd Season for my Lucy-obsessed mom. Just another example of how good they are at this

So what's the deal with TicketMaster? They have been at this world domination thing a lot longer than Amazon and were once owned by the evil Paul Allen, who is a master at it. But after buying Wilco Tickets through them I couldn't get worse emails from them about upcoming shows. Here are the subject lines of the last two notices I got from them:

Don't miss Pop-Tarts Presents American Idols Live!

Don't miss Hilary Duff!

If you don't get with it TicketMaster, the other members of the Information/Capitalist Complex are going to boot you out. If you don't read my mind and tell me what I want to see, somebody else will.

I'd Like To Buy A Barf Bag, Pat

Browsing around the internet today at my temp gig while they interviewed people for my job, and I came across something that you have to see. I think I came across this by a link from my friend Joe's blog to another blog, which had a link to this. Yes, Pat Sajak has a website/blog/ego stroke. Go ahead, read some of his "Sajak Says..." shit. What a jack-off. Now, I learned a while ago that he was a conservative twit while reading an editorial in some paper (one of those "liberal" ones) by him. It was an ironic article, given that he was going off on the mainstream "liberal media" for their bias against conservative views even though they were publishing an article by him, a conservative celebrity. This is typical of most conservatives these days. Claim over and over that there is a "liberal bias" and maybe it will actually be true. Or at least the stupid people will believe it to be true. And they do. But coming across this idiot's web site and seeing some of the stupid shit he writes was just hilarious. For the most part it is a lot like the rest of the GOP talking points you see everyday on the news. But the smugness with which he writes puts him right up there with the king of twits Robert Novak. And like FOX News, Pat likes to play fast and loose with the facts. Like the claim he makes about Air America Radio not gaining any ground, despite the fact that their ratings and number of markets keep growing, and they are beating Rush and O'Reilly in several cities.

And like the rest of the conservatives in this country, Sajak-off loves to make the claim that we liberals are happy every time a bomb goes off in Iraq and innocent people are killed because it makes Dubya look bad. Well fuck you Pat! The reason we were against this war to begin with was because we didn't want a bunch of innocent people to get killed you stupid ass. Pointing out that these things are the result of Georgie Boy's failed policies is not celebrating it. Thousands of innocent people dead and people like wheel-boy continue to paint us as the evil ones. Guess what, prick? Blaming us won't get rid of your guilt.

And like all good conservatives, much of his writing has the obligatory sucking of The Gipper's dick. OK, we get it, you cons loved that jackass who sold weapons to Iran and destroyed democracy in Nicaragua. But, much to my delight, he's dead now. So get over it. And the last time I checked totalitarianism is alive and well in Russia, so even the big thing they like to give him credit for (ending Communism blah blah blah) didn't actually happen. It just renamed itself.

Some more things from game show pretty-boy: He has an entry where he calls himself a member of an exclusive club, along with the likes of Johnny Carson. That being the club of people who had late-night talk shows. You gotta love it. He has a show that tanked horribly and he considers it some great thing he did. All 15 months of it.

He goes off on celebrities for their preaching of their political beliefs, then makes excuses for the way he does it. He also suggests revisiting the 1st Amendment. There are, of course, the obligatory attacks on Bill and Hillary. And taking jabs at Gore's unpopularity with the American people, forgetting, like all conservatives do, that he actually got about a half a million more votes than the Texas Ranger man. There is also the portrayal of Christians as somehow oppressed in this country. Oh, and we on the left hate them too. Even though the majority of the people on the left in this country, just like the right, are Christians. People on the right love to scream about religious hatred at us, usually right after it's been found out they did something like piss on somebody else's holy book.

My two favorites are these: He does go off about taxes. Typical conservative nonsense. He falls right in line with the rich lazy-white-guy who doesn't think he should have to pay taxes. I always find it funny that guys like William Buffet and George Soros, who have worked really hard to become kajillionaires, are all for paying their fair share of taxes, including the Estate Tax, while guys like Pat, who works about three hours one day a week (that's how a whole week of game shows are done) cries like a little pussy about how he's being ripped off. Seriously, this guy doesn't know anything about a 40-hour week or hard work, his riches have come about with the greatest of ease because he was born with TV looks and a good voice. Personally, I would have a TV host tax, and the rate would go up with the stupidity of the show and the ease of the host's job. That would put Patty-boy at about a 90% tax rate. Vanna would have to hand her whole check over. Donald Trump would have to give up his salary and pay extra on top of that. But I digress. Back to the dumb-ass. In a couple of entries he goes off on liberals for name-calling (labeling someone a Hitler and other things like that) and makes a point about how he doesn't do things like that. But look over his postings and you'll see him call John Kerry a jerk, he'll refer to both Michael Moore and Ted Kennedy as fat, allude to Barbara Boxer as a cry-baby and Hollywood celebrities being stupid and Democrats being drunks. The best he could come up with for Al Franken was to call him unfunny a couple of times. There is something really hilarious about guys like Sajakoff or O'Reilly accusing Franken of not being funny. Does anyone really think either of them would know a good joke if it came up and fucked them in the ear? See, like that. Not a good joke. But still better than any of dickface's little stabs at humor during the "get to know the stupid Iowa housewife" portion of his game show.

Ok, enough of going off on the twit. He might call me an Internet Goon. That's someone who pisses Pat off by saying mean things and hiding behind a screen name. He goes on and on about it in that post. Talks about how he doesn't read letters he gets at the game show if it is unsigned. Well, I'm more than happy to sign my name to this you waste of oxygen. But one thing, Pat doesn't have a comment page or a "contact me" section on his ego stroke site. So if anyone knows how I can forward this to him please let me know. And just for the record douche-bag, I am:

Sincerely yours,

Out Of Tune
Boston, MA
White male
American
Married no kids
Age - 34
Sign - Leo

Good Times, Good Times

I'm back! A much needed vacation on the west coast did the body good. And for the most part I didn't see much in the way of news, which was also good for my body/mind/soul. I was extremely happy to find out that, after almost two weeks away, they still haven't confirmed that ass-hole to the U.N. And wow, Deep Throat revealed. I'm a little disappointed it wasn't Pat Buchanan, because that was the only chance in hell I would have ever had any respect for him.

Anyway, since don't have any news to rant about I'll just share some thoughts from my trip, just in case you're not bored enough.

So my trip was to L.A. and Phoenix. L.A. was to see friends and Phoenix was for family, so make whatever assumptions about how I felt about each portion of the trip and you are probably just about right. More about the family at a later entry (maybe), for now I'll talk about my trip to LALALand.

Now I went to L.A. to see friends. I don't have any particular love of the place as a city, and I've been there before so I had no desire to do the tourist things. I just wanted to get out of Boston for a little while and see some people I absolutely adore and haven't seen in a while. In some cases a real long time. Most are old college friends. I was a little afraid of this trip making me feel old, or becoming one of those pathetic trips down memory lane that drives everyone crazy. But you know what? It didn't make me feel either way. Sure, there was the usual "remember the time...", or the "One time when we were so fucked up...", and the bagging on people we hated and shit. But for the most part it was just hanging out with people that I really love hanging out with. And boy was it a good time. A little run-down of the attendees that I so loved seeing again:

My buddy Armando is one of my favorite people. I'd seen him more recently than everybody else, and he put me up for the time I was there. Gotta love friends who have an open invitation to crash at their pad. Armando is also the best cook of all the people I know and has the most infectious laugh.

Matt, who I hadn't seen in probably ten years, is one of the coolest cats I've ever known. Just about everyone I know has a story that starts "So one time I was getting fucked up with Matt...". Always a good time when Matt's around. A master of wit and the best cocktail mixer I've ever known, Matt is also always the perfect host, even when it is someone else's place. On a night of card playing and drinking cosmopolitans, my glass never reached empty as Matt kept mixing 'em up all night long. One of my favorite actors of all the one's I've worked with.

Tony, probably even longer since I'd seen him, one of the nicest and funniest guys around. And I mean really really funny. By the end of the night of cards at Armando's my side hurt from laughter and several times barely averted having cosmos come through my nose. A killer improviser with the greatest talent for non-sequitur humor. And he can hold a cigarette in his chin. Hours of fun.

M. Scott. Well, we're still trying to figure out what it is we like about this fucker. The spunkiest shit you'd ever meet. Talks shit more than anybody I know. That probably is why we like him so much. That, and he's cute as a button.

Big D. Fuck that guy. No no. I kid cause I love. That big funny teddy-bear tries to act all tough and shit, but we're on to him. Big softie. And I guess he got to tackle people a lot in the new Longest Yard movie.

Chuck. Really don't like Chuck all that much. I'm just nice to him with the hope that he'll someday introduce me to the AFLAC duck from the commercial he was in. Then I can kick Chuck to the curb and run with the cool Hollywood crowd. That'll be sweet.

Mike will laugh at everything. Really, it's like taking a friendly audience with you wherever you go. When Mike's around even I seem funny. He's also a really successful car salesman. So that whole laughing at your jokes thing is probably just a ploy to weaken your defenses so he can go for the throat. I'm on to you buddy!

Brian, who since the last time I saw him figured out he was gay, so I'm really happy for him. Biggest music lover of anybody I've ever known and I've always been in awe of his music collection. And now that he's out of the closet he gets a lot great DJ gigs. Brian is also a fine stage actor, so of course I wish he would get the fuck out of L.A. and go back to a real theatre town.

And I shouldn't leave out the ladies. First there is Megan. Smart, funny, laid-back, and exudes sophistication. So we're still trying to figure out why she married Matt. Just kidding there buddy.

Heather. If I'm in a bad mood I can talk to Heather and it will go away. She's so bouncy (but not in the bad annoying way) that when she's in a shitty mood she still looks happier than most people's good mood.

Stacie. An angel. Great actor, beautiful soul, compassion and empathy you can't believe. She can also talk like a sailor. Love that.

Giannine. Besides me, the most opinionated person I know. So that kind of makes us kindred spirits. And unlike most of my friends who moved out there, she hates L.A. Place isn't real enough for her. Not really a surprise if you know Giannine.

There's also my friend Thor from my Seattle days living in L.A. But describing him would take a long time and several footnotes, mostly from Freud. Just think of him like we all do as the God Of Thunder and leave it at that. He is an international man of mystery.

I'm sure I forgot somebody. A great trip. Lots of friends and lots of fun. Later I'll write about what I actually did while I was there.

Headin' West

Up until the last couple of weeks, it was a great time to be a Yankee hater. I was giddy with New York just stinking up baseball and in last place after losing three in a row to the fuckin' Devil Rays. Oh, how sweet. Then they won 10 in a row. Fuck. Well, they still got a long ways to go to get back to first place, and right now they are bouncing around .500 with an obscene $200 million payroll. So it's still good. I'm not much of a sports nut, but I love my baseball. And the only thing better than my team winning is the Yankees losing.

I'll be going to my first game of the season at Dodger Stadium on Memorial Day. The Cubs will be in town and I'll be sitting with about 9 or 10 guys that I went to college with. All from Chicago or vicinity. Nothing like rooting for the visiting team when you go to the park.

So after today I'll be in L.A. and Phoenix for the next 12 days or so. I doubt I'll get around to writing in my blog, but you never know. Just a warning that the world might be denied the wonder of my wit for a few days while I reconnect with some old friends that I haven't seen in a really long time. It will be a breath of air from being around so much meanness in Boston.

Talk to you all soon.

Cell Out

So I went to Radio Shack and joined The Dark Side yesterday. I got my first cell phone. Well, it is a prepaid type, so I didn't go completely Darth Sidious or anything. I pay as I go, so I won't be sitting on the subway talking with my friends to pass the time or, hopefully, any of those other things I hate about cell phone users. I got it basically so I could have a phone while I'm traveling. I'm going to L.A. this week and need to be able to get ahold of people while I'm there so I can meet up with friends and the such. Plus, the wife can find me if she needs to. And it is so hard to find pay phones now, so my hand has been forced.

The funny thing was trying to figure out what and how to buy. I did a bunch of looking stuff up on the net, because I was no way going to walk into a store blindly asking to get a cell phone. I would've ended up with an empty bank account and a 10-year contract. So I decided on Virgin's "pay-as-you-go" cell. Pretty good deal, same per-minute price no matter where I'm at, and they had a phone on sale for $40. So I go to the Radio Shack. I find the phone among the ones at the Virgin display and one of those creepy Radio Shack employees comes over and asks me if I need help. I point to the phone I want and ask him the only question I had. I just wanted to make sure I read the roaming rule right, so I asked him to make sure calling outside of my area was the same price. So no problem. I point to the phone and I say "this one is on sale right?"

"Yeah", he says, and then asks me if it's for a kid.

"No, it's for me."

Apparently this kind of phone plan is popular for parents to get their children, and the fact I was buying the phone as well sparked this question. After he calls over to a younger kid employee to help me, he points out a phone higher up on the shelf that he says I should get instead. The price on that phone is $99.99. I make a remark about how it's too expensive and he says he thinks it might be on sale too. So as I'm asking him what the difference is the kid has come over, baggy pants and all, and the manager goes to see if the other phone is on sale, and tells the kid to tell me why I should get the $100 phone. He says the flip-phones are better.

"Why, is it clearer?"I ask.

And I swear to god this is what he said: "It's cooler."

"Cooler?"

"Yeah."

"Oh kaaayyy, so is there a real reason to buy this over the other one?"

And he goes to tell me that with the flip-phone you can't accidentally hit the button while its in your pocket and make a phone call that will take your minutes. But he also mentions that you can lock the keypad on the cheaper one anyway, with one little motion. He also mentions that the sound isn't any better or clearer. The manager come back to tell me that the pricier phone is in fact on sale as well - For $89.99.

"You know what? I'm going to stick with the $40 phone instead of the $90 one."

So white boy hip-hop kid goes to get my phone. He come back with two, and says he just found one he didn't know they had and told me it was just like the other one but that it was on sale - for $89.99.

"But it's got a camera!", he says.

"Ohh kaaayyy. But I've already got a camera, what I need is a phone."

So after turning down their protection plan, and that seemed to annoy him, he finally starts ringing me up. He asks me how I've survived without a cell phone. I was tempted, but resisted because I just wanted out of the hell that is Radio Shack, to try to explain to the dumbass that cell phones were not the same as food, water and shelter. I don't think he would have understood anyway. It just would have made his head hurt.

So I have a cell. Please god don't let it make me stupid like these other people.

Scumbag Du Jour

As anyone who reads this blog by now has probably figured out, I have some issues with the mainstream media. From the dumb bimbos who should be modeling in front of SUVs at auto shows instead of reading the news to pretty-boy airheads like Bill Hemmer to flat out liars like O'Reilly and Hannity, the mainstream media is awash in shit. We deserve better than what they offer up as journalists in this country. This isn't even taking into account the garbage they sell as "news" to begin with, such as the runaway bride, Michael Jackson's trial, the Terri Schiavo death-watch, the tearful farewell to Raymond's cast, and the latest celebrity wedding/birth/pregnancy/divorce/affair/addiction/rehab/awards show.

But I digress. Today is not about the crap they cover or the important stuff they ignore, but the idiots who report it. There are a lot of people to hate in the media today and any one of them could make a run at the title of Biggest Scumbag Of The Press. There are oh-so-many choices. Just off the top of my head I can come up with Charles Krauthammer, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Joe Scarborough, and that twit Tucker Carlson. All would be fine choices to wear the crown. But there is one person who stands above the crowd, both for his length of service to the misinformation of the populace and the amount of lies he'll tell to discredit anyone who isn't on the extreme right of every issue.

I speak, of course, of Robert Novak. Where to begin? This old scumbag dinosaur has been around and lying for so long it's hard to know where to start with the putrid slime he spews. But I'll give it my best shot.

Let's begin with something recent. Last month on an episode of Crossfire, the annoying screaming match show that has finally been put out of it's misery, Novak went on another one of the conservative's typical tirades about liberal bias on college campuses. He went on to make this claim:

The real problem with the universities, Paul, is that they don't invite conservatives. They have only left-wing speakers on campuses like Berkeley and Harvard. They don't let people like me tell them what the truth is about America.

So here's the thing about this stupid comment. As Media Matters points out, not only have many conservative politicians and commentators spoken at both of those universities, but Novak himself spoke at Harvard just one year earlier. Really. April 8th, 2004 he spoke at Harvard where, according to Novak, people like him are not allowed to speak. OK, so I know the guy is old, but if he can't remember he spoke at one of this country's most prestigious universities just one year earlier then Alzheimer Boy should not be writing articles in newspapers or doing commentary on major news networks. I'm guessing he does remember, he's just a big fat fucking liar.

Before and after the presidential campaign season, Novak went out of his way to promote the Swift Boat assholes, calling what their book and ads "accurate", "exactly correct", and "meticulously researched", despite all the facts that came out to discredit them completely. And there was probably a good reason for this. Something he failed to mention on all of his TV appearances talking about this subject was his connection to the publishers of the book "Unfit For Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry"(Regnery Publishing). The first one being that his son is the Director of Marketing for Regnery Publishing. He also sits on the board of a conservative organization with both the chairman and president of Regnery Publishing. And last but not least, they are the same company that publishes The Evans-Novak Political Report, which is edited by you-know-who. Scumbag fails to mention this when talking about the Swift Boat Liars' book and ads.

And then there is my favorite. In 2003 he wrote an article for the Chicago Sun-Times that revealed the identity of Valerie Plame, a CIA operative who happens to be the wife of Joe Wilson, the former ambassador who wrote a report that discredited the claim of a Saddam-Nigeria nuclear connection that the Bushies were making. He got the information from an administration source, presumably as retaliation for what Wilson had done (piss off Bush). Now you know all that, and there is a big investigation and all that going on. If it had been a person from the left who did something like that, there would be calls for their head and shouts of "Traitor!" and "unpatriotic" for endangering the life of an undercover US agent, with Novak leading the charge.

But for some reason it is OK for him. And he refuses to answer any questions about his involvement in the situation, even though he keeps commenting about it for CNN. And CNN does not even mention his involvement (you know, causing it) when they interview him.

And this just in: When discussing the Democrats' compromise proposal to let a couple of Bush's wacko judicial nominees through, but not the others they've blocked Novak said it was "like going to a concentration camp and picking out which people go to the death chamber."

Really Bob? How exactly is a judge getting passed over for a promotion to the federal bench like getting slaughtered by the Nazis?

What a prick.

I'd pay money to see him beat with a baseball bat.

The Inside Outsider

So John Kerry gave a speech in Baton Rouge the other day. Among the things he said? Well, he criticized the Massachusetts Democratic Party for considering putting a line in their platform that says they are committed to upholding the law when it comes to gay marriage in the state. You know, it being legal here and all. He also decided to now paint himself as a political "outsider" and railed against the evil Washington people:

''Washington seems more and more out of touch with the difficulties the average family is facing," Kerry told the crowd of about 150 last week in Baton Rouge. ''Go out of here, take some anger and a little bit of outrage at the fact that Washington is not dealing with the real concerns of our country."

Six months after his presidential bid ended in defeat, Kerry is on another cross-country campaign. This time, he is running against the political establishment.

Hmmm, so John Kerry is more "in touch" with regular people than those Washington people? I happen to live in the same neighborhood in Boston as John Kerry. Well, where one of his houses is anyway. His $12 million house. It's on a street called Louisburg Square. A street where no one except residents of the street can park their cars. There is also a park in the middle of Louisburg Square:



Pretty, huh? I've never been inside the park. As you can see, it's gated. And Locked. Who has the keys? The residents of that street. If I were to enter the Louisburg Square Park, I would be trespassing and could be arrested. There is a sign that says so.

Yet somehow this douche-bag thinks he's more "in touch" with the struggles of regular folk. And he refers to Washington like he's some sort of neighborhood activist, and not a guy who has been in the Senate (which in Washington by the way) for the last 21 years. Not that he's actually done anything while he's been there.

Is it any wonder why the dilettante lost to the retard last November? What an ass hole.

I'm even more proud of myself for voting for David Cobb.

No Tree Left Behind

I was in a good mood today. My wife and I got our tickets to Ireland for this summer, I've got a vacation trip to LA and Phoenix coming in two weeks that I'm excited about, and it's Friday. But then I read this story in the Chicago Tribune about Bush's new rule to allow new roads to be built in almost 60 million acres of currently protected forest under a Clinton era roadless rule. This is the highlight of the announcement:

In announcing the policy, Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns, whose department includes the U.S. Forest Service, praised it as cooperative, collaborative conservation. "Our actions today advance President Bush's commitment to cooperatively conserve inventoried roadless areas within our national forests," Johanns said. He added that his department "is committed to working closely with the nation's governors to meet the needs of our local communities while protecting and restoring the health and natural beauty of our national forests."

Fucking Dubya will shit on a plate and tell you it's a T-Bone. He builds roads through national forests and calls it "protecting and restoring" them, just like he calls weakening clean-air laws a "clear skies" initiative. And he does it with a straight face. I don't even get angry anymore, just sad. He really does just want to destroy it all before he leaves. Fuck I hate him.

Graceless Under Fire

So what the fuck do you have to do to get fired from CNN? Now, I've previously talked about my hatred for that stupid bitch Nancy Grace. Seems it's not just my opinion that she's a bad evil person. It's also the opinion of the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals:

Nancy Grace, the host of a self-titled legal show on CNN Headline News, "played fast and loose" with her ethical duties as a Fulton County, Ga., prosecutor in 1990, a federal appeals panel has declared.

And this isn't the first case this evil bitch has played fast and loose with her duties as a prosecutor in Fulton County Georgia:

This is the third time Grace's conduct as a prosecutor has been criticized by an appellate court.

In 1997, the Georgia Supreme Court skewered Grace for her actions in prosecuting Weldon Wayne Carr for allegedly setting fire to his house and murdering his wife. Carr later was freed when Fulton prosecutors waited too long to bring him up for a retrial. While the court reversed Carr's 1994 conviction for other reasons, the justices said Grace withheld evidence entitled to the defense and made improper opening statements and closing arguments.

"We conclude that the conduct of the prosecuting attorney in this case demonstrated her disregard of the notions of due process and fairness, and was inexcusable," wrote then Chief Justice Robert Benham. Carr v. State, 267 Ga. 701 (1997).

In 1994, the Georgia high court voted 6-1 to reverse a heroin trafficking conviction won by Grace because she "exceeded the wide latitude of closing argument" by referring to drug-related murders and serial rape, which were not at issue. Bell v. State, 263 Ga. 776 (1994).

So here's my point. She is employed as a legal "analyst" at CNN, and she has been admonished three fucking times by courts for "inexcusable" behavior. At what point are you no longer qualified to be in this job? She obviously has no respect for due process or even the idea of innocent until proven guilty. Did you see this cunt (apologies to my wife) going on every day basically saying the fiance killed the woman who turned out to be the so-called runaway bride? She never once even considered that it could be anything else. This is what she said to the woman's father before she was found, "Mr. Wilbanks, this sounds completely unlike Jennifer to just disappear. I just don't believe it's a case of cold feet."

Really Nancy? How the fuck would you know? Got to know her real well during the time she was missing did you? Unless you were one of this woman's 14 bridesmaids or went to one of her eight bridal showers (who the fuck does that?), I'm guessing you know nothing about her. Hell, I don't have to guess, it was proven to the world.

And I have yet to hear about an apology from her for stoking the flames of sensationalistic journalism and good old fashioned male-bashing. She's not the only one in the mainstream media to do it, but she does it with the most venom.

So take the same situation but apply it to CNN's medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta. Personally, I think he is the best reporter CNN has on their staff, which is really sad when you think about it. A neurosurgeon is the best journalist at a 24-hour news network that employees hundreds of people who have degrees in journalism. But let's say that Dr. Gupta had been admonished several times by the state medical board. It would be expected that he really wouldn't be the best person to be the network's medical consultant and they would get rid of him. But the Bitch from Hell lawyer apparently doesn't have to live by the same standards. CNN should fire this hack. Shit, they should have never hired her in the first place.

And of course the network has "no comment" about the most recent court admonishment.

Oh, and just a reminder of the title of her new book:

Objection!: How High-Priced Defense Attorneys, Celebrity Defendants, and a 24/7 Media Have Hijacked Our Criminal Justice System.

The fucking nerve.

You can share your thoughts about this horrible human being with CNN here.

Some Of The News That's Fit To Print

Can't think of a lot to write about today, so I'll just share a couple of things I read about in yesterday's New York Times. First, there is this editorial by Bob Herbert, From 'Gook' to 'Raghead', which talks about American soldiers committing acts of violence against Iraqi civilians. I figured these kind of things were going on, we have a history of this kind of shit, but I wonder why this is the first time I've read anything about it in the main stream media? And why only in an Op-Ed column instead of an actual news story? You know, like some actual investigative journalism? CNN has plenty of time to tell me everything I never wanted to know about some stupid woman who ran from her wedding, but can't find two seconds to report that some of our own soldiers are driving around smashing bottles on the heads of innocent civilians.

And then there's this article from Paul Krugman, A Gut Punch to the Middle, that exposes the real agenda to Dubya's Social Security "reform". I think he makes a really good point that by turning it into a program for the poor, Bush will be successful in getting it demonized as a form of welfare, which will make it easier for future politicians to scrap altogether.


We've got 3 years and 8 months left of this ass-hole. God/Buddha/Allah/Kucinich help us.

Grand Old Nazi Party

We on the left have taken a lot of flack and been accused of hate speech because of our comparing the current Republican party to the Nazis. While it's true that they haven't yet killed 6 million Jews or 5 million gays, gypsies and disabled people, they have only been in power for 5 years. But their balls are getting bigger and bigger by the day. So if anyone tells you it's ludicrous to make the comparison, just point them to these little bits of current events.

Alabama Bill Targets Gay Authors. And not just gay authors, this bill in the Junkyard State would also prohibit state libraries from buying books with gay characters as well. And just think what kind of books would be banned:

Books by any gay author would have to go: Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote and Gore Vidal. Alice Walker's novel The Color Purple has lesbian characters.

The fucking Color Purple would be banned. Think about that. I would imagine they could find a way to ban To Kill A Mockingbird since one of the children is based on Truman Capote. In case anyone forgot, this is exactly the kind of thing the Nazi party did in the early 30s - ban/burn books by Jews, gays, leftist, and "intellectuals".

More attacks against homosexuals is happening in Dubya's home state. The Texas state house passed a bill that would ban gays/lesbians/bisexuals from being foster parents. This despite the fact that there are already not enough foster parent to meet the needs of all the parent-less children in the state. And then they pull stupid shit like this:

Talton said his action was prompted by studies regarding the suitability of gays and lesbians to be parents.

"What studies are those," Coleman asked.

Talton thumbed through a pocket-sized, thin book and occasionally read what he said were the results of studies done regarding children and gays and lesbians and told Coleman, "I'll quote you a study if you want to know."

Reading, he said, "It says parents influence the sexual orientation of their children."

He quoted another study, "There was a 14-year study comparing 25 children of 18 lesbian mothers against 21 children of 16 single, heterosexual mothers. When asked what they thought their mothers wanted them to become... 40 percent of the children of lesbian mothers said their mother wanted them to become homosexual."

When asked by the Voice to identify the title of the book from which he read, staff at Talton's Austin office would not say.

Hey, you know what Rep. Talton? I've got a study that says kids who grow up in conservative households grow up to be axe murderers. No, you can't see it or know where it's from. Just trust me. Hitler had a lot of studies that proved Jews were inferior humans. I don't think any of them were published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Everyone is still looking for the publication that did the "gay parents are bad" study the Alabama Nazi referred to. I wonder if anyone has looked to see if it is one of Mengele's studies.

And now of course they are threatening judges. First Tom DeLay says the judges who made the Schiavo decision will "answer" for it, Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) gives a speech on the floor of the Senate saying its understandable that people are committing violence against judges, and the conservatives are calling for the impeachment or execution of any judge who rules against them:

Michael P. Farris, chairman of the Home School Legal Defense Association, said Kennedy "should be the poster boy for impeachment" for citing international norms in his opinions. "If our congressmen and senators do not have the courage to impeach and remove from office Justice Kennedy, they ought to be impeached as well."

Not to be outdone, lawyer-author Edwin Vieira told the gathering that Kennedy should be impeached because his philosophy, evidenced in his opinion striking down an anti-sodomy statute, "upholds Marxist, Leninist, satanic principles drawn from foreign law."

Ominously, Vieira continued by saying his "bottom line" for dealing with the Supreme Court comes from Joseph Stalin. "He had a slogan, and it worked very well for him, whenever he ran into difficulty: 'no man, no problem,' " Vieira said.

The full Stalin quote, for those who don't recognize it, is "Death solves all problems: no man, no problem."

Wow, that sounds really familiar - Means Used by the Nazi Conspirators in Gaining Control of the German State:

Like all other public officials, German judges who failed to meet Nazi racial and political requirements became the subject of a wide-spread purge. Non-Aryans, political opponents of the Nazis, and all persons suspected of antagonism to the aims of the Party were summarily removed (2967-PS). The provisions of the Law for the Restoration of Professional Civil Service of 7 April 1933 applied to all judges. This was declared expressly in the third regulation for the administration of the law. (2867- PS)

I think I've made my point. I'll leave you with this little quote from the Justice Sunday rally held this last weekend. James Dobson, the head of Focus on the Family, referring to the Roe v. Wade decision said "The biggest Holocaust in world history came out of the Supreme Court".

He made that statement at the same time Jews around the world were celebrating the second night of Passover.

Fuck these people.

To keep up with the lies and hate being spread by these people, bookmark AMERICAblog and Media Matters - For America.

Inside The Out Of Tune Studio

Inside the Actors Studio has taught us so very much that we wanted to know about people. I mean, my life is so much more fulfilled after learning what makes Julia Roberts and Jennifer Lopez tick. But the best part is the oh-so-never pretentious French guy questions at the end. A little known fact is that I was invited on to the show, and did the taping, but it was never aired. Something about the FCC and nipples, I don't know. But I got ahold of a tanscript and want to share with you my answers to the famed questionnaire.


James Lipton: So I know turn to The Questionnaire, first conceptualized (dramatic pause) by my hero (dramatic pause), Bernard (dramatic pause) Pivot...

Out Of Tune: Hey watch the spit there Jimmy.

JL: Sorry, it's hard to say the name of my idol without the appropriate French spittle. So here we go. (dramatic pause). What (dramatic pause) is your favorite (dramatic pause) word?

OOT: Leftist.

JL: What is your LEAST (dramatic pause) favorite word?

OOT: Dubya.

JL: What turns you (dramatic pause) on?

OOT: Why Jim, you looking for a piece of ass?

JL: We'll talk later. What turns (dramatic pause) you (dramatic pause) off?

OOT: Pretentious name dropping talk show hosts with self-importance issues and elephant-sized egos.

JL: Yes, me too..

OOT: I was talking about you, ass wipe.

JL: Ha ha. See kids, I told you he was funny. Reminds me of when I was working at (dramatic pause) Comedia Del Arte with the great (dramatic pause) Maurice Chevalier...

OOT: OK, Jim Jim that's enough, this is about me remember.

JL: Oh yes of course, pardonnez-moi. What (dramatic pause) sound do you love?

OOT: Tom DeLay being smothered by a pillow.

JL: Oh yes, I remember when I had to smother Desdemona in a 1963 production of Othe...

OOT: Let's stay focused Lippy.

JL: Yes of course. What sound do you (dramatic pause) HATE?

OOT: "War on terror" spoken with a fake Texas drawl.

JL: What profession (loooonnnnnng dramatic pause), other than your own, would you like to attempt?

OOT: Wilco roadie. And I'd do it for free. (I know, not really a revelation to anyone)

JL: What profession would you (dramatic pause) NOT like to participate in?

OOT: Reporter/Prostitute for Talon "News".

JL: What is your favorite curse word?

OOT: Doody.

JL: If Heaven exists (extremely long dramatic pause), what would you like to hear GOD say (more dramatic pause) when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

OOT: Thank Me your here! I've got the Pope in a strangle hold and I need someone to kick him in the head a zillion times. Oh, and here's a cosmopolitan for you. There's more at the bar.

JL: And now I'll turn you over to the minions, er... students for Q & A...


I then had to answer 67 questions about "the process".


(c) The New School Actors Studio

Potpourri

Random things on my mind today....

According to the new Pope, he prayed that he wouldn't be the one elected. So we finally found something he's got in common with American Catholics.

Another little tidbit about what this guy has been doing for the last 24 years: He has been the director of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. I just learned this weekend what the previous, less PC name of this office was. Take a guess. Anyone? Anyone? You won't believe it.

The Inquisition.

So the Catholic Church never actually got rid of the Inquisition, they just gave it a softer name. Nice.
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This hasn't been a good week for trains. The problems with Amtrak's Acela couldn't come at a worse time, what with Bush trying to destroy it on behalf of his auto and oil buddies. This kind of press we don't need. Looks like Congress will protect it in the end though, so I'm not too worried.

And this morning's wreck in Japan was just horrible. It is one of those things that people like my brother will point to as an example of how unsafe trains are, despite the fact that more people will die in the next hour from car crashes than will all year from train wrecks. What it should tell us is that we need to make sure that all rail lines in this country have modern signal safety upgrades that make these kind of accidents highly unlikely.
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If they allow John Bolton (who thinks the UN should be destroyed) to be the UN Ambassador, then the next Democrat president should be allowed to name Jane Fonda as Secretary of Defense. Makes as much sense. Check out the video John Bolton: In His Own Words at truthout.org. See what we mean?

Democrats are finally united against one of the many fucked up things our ass-hole prez is trying to pull. If you live in a state with any Republican Senators contact them right away and tell them to vote against this insane man.
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Oh, and something the media isn't highlighting enough on the issue of the judicial filibusters the wingnuts are trying to end is this: The Dems have threatened filibusters on a total of ten Bush appointees, and have let 205 get confirmed. Doesn't take a genius to see that comes out to over a 95% confirmation rate. Compare that to the 90s, the right wingers blocked over 40 Clinton nominations just at the appellate level! And we on the left are the ones that get accused of being obstructionists. Ass-holes.
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Something I've been wanting to know lately. When I go to public restrooms and use the urinals I notice that most other guys flush before using it. What is up with that? Is there some secret I don't know about? Maybe someone can explain this to me. If it is to make sure there is no one else's urine in the bowl before hand, why? What the fuck is the danger of a little of your piss mixing with someone else's? Will it explode like one of those grade school volcano projects? Is it that they think they're pee is better than everybody else's and they don't want to contaminate it before they send it on its way to the treatment plant? So confusing. I feel like I'm being left out of some sort of secret club. Is it just me who finds this weird? Seems like a waste of water to me. I'm just sayin'....

Weekend In Shittown

Oh Boston how I hate thee, let me count the ways.....

So my wife was gone for this past weekend and I decided to do a couple of things. On Saturday I went down to Poughkeepsie to visit a really good friend and spend the night there. So that was all good, get out of Boston for a day or so and have a fun time hanging on a college campus. The night before, I decided to check out a local bar. I really love a good bar, but my exploration of the bar scene in Boston has not been very successful to this point. For starters, too many of the bars here are full of college frat types, which is the same exact scene I avoided while I was in college myself and my hatred for frat boys and sorority girls has never waned. So that's one reason I've had a hard time finding a good bar. But there is a bigger reason. You know the opening song to Cheers, "where everybody know your name and they're always glad you came" yadda yadda yadda and what not? Sure you do. Everybody does. And it helped give Boston this reputation for friendly neighborhood bars. Well if you are a twenty-year regular, and they do in fact know your name, they are pretty friendly to you. But if you are a new person walking in the door you might as well be invisible or look like the devil, because you are either ignored or treated with open hostility. So that makes it difficult. And it's a huge change from living in Chicago, where bartenders will treat you like a buddy the first time you walk into a bar by yourself and it's really easy to strike up conversations with people sitting at the bar.

So I gave it another try last Friday. A neighbor had told me about a place called the Red Hat around the corner from our place. Apparently this is the place all the regulars at the real Cheers moved to after that bar became a Hard Rock Cafe-like tourist trap, and I was told they have good food. So I headed out to watch a little bit of the Sox game, sit at a bar, and maybe have a little dinner. I walked in and sat up at the bar. Looked like my kind of place, with a beautiful looking bar area made of wood with great comfortable stools and a couple of TV's with the Red Sox game playing. So far so good. Only a few of people were sitting at the bar so it was a perfect laid-back situation.

As I sat at the bar, the bartender was in the middle of a conversation with a couple of Southie types (think Good Will Hunting without the good looks or the math genius brains). He looked right at me when I sat down and continued talking to his buddies - for about five more fucking minutes before he came over and asked me what I wanted. As he came over he was laughing from the end of the story he just told his buddy, then turned completely stone-faced when he switched to asking me what I wanted. It was like I pissed him off just for sitting down at his bar. And it was like this every time he came to check on me. Which wasn't very often, because I would have an empty beer glass for ten minutes before he would come over and ask me if I wanted another. And even with only four customers at the bar he never remembered what I was drinking. And sitting at the bar everyone there talked to each other and ignored me. Well, didn't ignore per say, more like glanced over wondering if I was some sort of Commie spy trying to steal their souls. And I tried, fuck I tried. When conversation was about the ball game I would throw in some comments here and there about the Sox, or other little tid-bits that usually break the ice in a bar. No go. Best I would get would be a half smile and nod and then they would go right back to talking amongst themselves, and I swear they started talking lower so I couldn't hear them (OK, probably not, but by this point my ego is about three inched tall). I felt like the new kid in grade school who on his first day fell out of his desk or accidentally walked into the girls bathroom and is then shunned by the herd.

So I left. Didn't finish watching the game. Didn't order any food (of course the bartender never asked me if I wanted to order any food anyway).

And then the weekend ended with another reason I hate Boston: the public transportation system. Sunday night I walk up the street to the subway to catch the blue line to the airport and meet my wife when she gets back into town. I get to the platform and wait for the train. There are several people already waiting so I figured one was due any minute. Five, 10, 15 minutes go by and no train. "OK", I'm thinking, "one needs to come right now or I'll be late" We don't have cell phones so this is a bigger problem for me than most people. Twenty, twenty-five, thirty minutes. Lots and lots of people on the platform now, no train has come from either direction. Now I'm fucked. Then we hear an announcement. Unfortunately it sounds just like one of the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon. At this point I'm trying to figure out what to do, since I don't have an easy way to call the wife and tell her just to catch a cab and not wait for me to meet her. A few minutes later there is another garbled announcement but this time I am able to make out two words, "disabled train". Fuck!

Somehow, after many calls from a pay phone, I was able to get my wife paged at the airport to tell her what was up and she caught a cab. It was over an hour before the trains had finally started to run again. It would be one thing if this was a rare occurrence, but this happens all the time in Boston. In every other city with rail lines that I've been in, they know how to get around stalled trains by using track crossovers and minimizing the disruption. Not in this stupid town. One little stalled train shuts an entire line down for over an hour.

14 more months, 14 more months, 14 more months.....

Papal Thought Of The Day

The first ballot is done, and I wasn't able to pull two-thirds so the smoke was black rising from the Sistine Chapel.

I was reading about the rules of the conclave and came across a little tidbit I find kind of funny. The Cardinals and the staff at the Vatican take an oath of secrecy to ensure they reveal nothing of the conversations or process of the election of the new Pope. And the penalty for breaking the oath?

Excommunication.

So I'm thinking "Wow, excommunication for a little leak to the press. But raping children or helping to protect child rapists gets you moved to a different, often cushier, post in the church. And you get to keep your pope-voting privileges."

And people ask me why I hate religion....

Pretty Birds

First thing I read this morning in the New York Times is this story about a fresh attack on the "liberal anti-faith judges" by the right wingnut Christians and my head feels like it's going to explode. So I need to think happy thoughts and not get worked into a lather today.

So today I'll tell you about a great little movie my wife and I saw several weeks ago. It's a documentary called The Wild Parrots Of Telegraph Hill, about this guy in San Francisco who befriended a flock of tropical parrots, called cherry-headed conures, that live in the city. Apparently these were pets who escaped or were set free by their owners and have done perfectly fine on their own in the wild, and are even breeding so there are well over a hundred of them in the flock now. So this guy Mark Bittner, who moved to San Francisco in the 70s to be a rock star and mostly has been a bohemian and street musician, started feeding them in the 90s and eventually gained their trust to the point they started eating out of his hands. He then gave most of them names, based mostly on their personalities or physical markings. And he took care of them if they got sick or injured.

He then decided to keep a journal about the birds which he turned into a book. And then an environmental documentary filmmaker heard about him. And she has made a really incredible film. Some wonderful shots of these parrots in the wild and of Bittner interacting with them and you really can see the birds' different personalities. You can see how much this guy falls in love with these birds, and how he's affected when one gets sick and dies or gets caught by a hawk. You'll fall in love with Bittner as much as the birds.

So go see this movie. And read the book. It really is a wonderful story. Go here to see when and where it's playing near you.

Pope Deni I

OK, so after reading all of the stuff that has been written in the news about picking a new Pontiff and how its done and all that I've noticed something. I'm actually eligible to become the Bishop of Rome. It's true. I am a baptized Catholic male. That is the only requirement for Supreme Pontiff. I'm still four months away from being eligible to run for president but I can become Pope next week! Now my odds might being longer than Kucinich '04 but hey, Karol Wojtyla was an unexpected choice too, back in the day. Now it will be an uphill battle for sure, what with my only having been to a Catholic church about twice since I was 10 and those were a funeral and a wedding. So I'm going to have to explain that. And I haven't taken communion since my grandfather's funeral when I was 15, which I think may have been the only time I ever took communion, and don't really want to again since the body of Christ is some foul tasting nasty cardboard thingy. But I have taken communion, so that's covered. I figure after I'm Pope I can switch it to something like rum balls anyway.

But I'm going to have to change a lot of my ways and make some serious campaign promises if I plan to pull off the big upset next week.

First, I don't hate women enough. So I'll have to pledge to continue the long tradition of treating women as second class citizens. Sorry girls, that means no priesthoods or reasonable family planning for you. And I'll need to find a way to tell my wife that after all those years of medical school and training she'll need to now dedicate her life to raising children since that's all women are supposed to be good for.

Then there's the pretend caring about the poor. I figure what I need to do this weekend is get a good photo-op with a dirty poor family. I can find some HIV-positive single mother with twelve kids somewhere and preach to her about morals and tell her what a good Catholic she is for not using those evil condoms to save her from her disease and having more children than she could afford as I bless her forehead with my bejeweled hand. I'll then take my leave back to my castle by way of bullet-proof limousine for my nightly seven course meal served on sterling silver by faithful butlers amid billions of dollars of centuries old art before retiring to my feather bed with silk sheets, where I fall asleep while watching The Daily Show on my satellite TV and looking over the church's stock portfolio. That will give me a great image of caring for the poor.

And then there's the fags. Now my attitude towards them has been waaaaayyyy off church teaching for a long time, so I'll have to lose all my gay friends. This will make my social circle significantly smaller but the tradeoff is that so many more people will be kissing my hand everyday. So that's cool. I'll have to wiggle my way through the reasoning behind condemning gays while protecting child rapists, but the American Bishops have already got that covered for me. We just blame the fags for the child rapes instead of the Cardinals who moved them from school to school. Kill two birds with one stone. Sweet.

Looks like I've got a long weekend ahead of me. I'll need to have a strong kick-off to my campaign. I've got to make up for a lot of years of neglecting my Catholic duty of oppressing and demonizing women, gays and rape victims. Most of my competition are years ahead of me. But maybe, just maybe, with a little hard work that white smoke you see coming from the chimney of the Sistine Chapel could be me.

For my name I've decided I will call myself Pope Junipero Serra I, in honor of the 18th Century Franciscan priest. He's the one that ran missions in California where he enslaved Native Americans, forced them to convert to Christianity (sometimes at gunpoint), shackled and whipped them for disobedience, and hunted them down if they ran away from the mission. John Paul II beatified him (one step 'til Sainthood!) in 1987.

Smack This

So lunch today was incredibly annoying. I always take a late lunch at the place where I'm temping because, well as you can probably tell, I'm not really fond of most people and there are too many of them in the lunch room at the noon hour. The only problem is sometimes this woman who works in the office also sometimes takes a late lunch. I won't use her real name, let's just call her Smacky. I try to not be there when she is but today was unavoidable. This woman, in her 40s at least, can not eat with her mouth closed. And she smacks her mouth like crazy. Loud. There can be two other people talking in the room and still all I can hear is her. Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack. And I'm not talking one of those people who just does it on some or even a lot of her chews. Were talking about every single up/down with the jaw. Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack. It is like some kind of Chinese torture method. Has no one ever told her? How can you make it this far in life and not know to close your mouth when you chew? Did she not have any parents, or get lost in the jungle as a baby and raised by apes until her eventual rescue by big game hunters who found her as a teenager one day slinging poop in the wild? Was smacking lips the one ape-like behavior they were not able to cleanse during her rehabilitation to the civilized world? Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack. Oh god, please stop. Its killing me. My thoughts turn to jumping on top of her, grabbing the taco salad fork out of her hands and jabbing it in her throat, screaming "CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE SMACK THIS YOU STUPID BITCH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" And then start slapping her across the face over and over and over. Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack.......


So how's your day going?

...And Purple Smoke Means "Send Snacks"

This just in from CNN: The Pope is still dead.

Breaking news from MSNBC: There is no new Pope yet. We have no idea when there will be one.

Hot story from CNBC: The Pope was Polish and Catholic.

FOX: We love the Pope. The Pope is great. We love him like Reagan and Bush. A great conservative that Pope was. We've always loved him, despite the things we've said about him in the past. (here too)

While it may be fascinating for some people, though I don't know who, to still be droning on and on about one guy's death for the past five days (six for FOX, since they "confirmed" his death 26 hours early) there is some actual news to report that the 24-hour channels seem to want to ignore. Seriously, you have to be dying or dead to get on the news these days. And there seems to be no end, news of Schiavo was replaced by Pope, who is now briefly interrupted to talk about Prince Rainier (why can't these "professional journalists" take two seconds to learn the correct way to pronounce his name?) and a small mention of Saul Bellow, and then back to the Pope. They should start calling them the "24-hour obituary channels". I'm trying to decide if it's better or worse than 24/7 Michael Jackson trial.

Here are some stories that are kind of flying under the radar that have a lot more impact on people's lives than a stranger's feeding tube or a dead gay-bashing misogynist.

More and more things keep coming out about the ethically and morally challenged Tom DeLay. Today's Washington Post article about a trip DeLay took in 1997 that he claimed was paid for by a non-profit group. Turns out that it was only filtered through that group from a company registered in the Bahamas that did extensive lobbying for Russian interest. This breaks not one, but two House ethics rules. Congress is not allowed to have trips paid for by either lobbyist or foreign interests. This follows two other trips already being investigated for the same reasons, involving Indian gaming lobbyists and a Korean businessman, among others. And there's also this story from the New York Times about how his whole family is lining their pockets with cash from his own PAC and campaign committees, to the tune of over $500,000 in the last four years. I guess it's good to be married to DeLay, except for the sex with a troll-like man part.

Potential vote-rigging in Zimbabwe. Widely unpopular leader wins an election landslide, where no international observers were allowed except for his allies from neighboring countries. And before the election there were allegations of opposition intimidation and a crackdown on the media to make sure no negative stories were done on the ruling party. Basically all I've heard from the news channels is that Zimbabwe voted and the incumbent won.

Oh yeah, by the way, the Iraqi government appointed a president.

And something that should be one of the biggest stories in the media right now should be the comments made by Sen. John Cornyn(R-TX) saying he understands why people want to shoot judges, with all those liberal activist rulings and such. You've got to see it to believe it. Go here and then click on the link for the video. Here's a little taste.

SENATOR JOHN CORNYN: "I don't know if there is a cause-and-effect connection but we have seen some recent episodes of courthouse violence in this country. Certainly nothing new, but we seem to have run through a spate of courthouse violence recently that's been on the news and I wonder whether there may be some connection between the perception in some quarters on some occasions where judges are making political decisions yet are unaccountable to the public, that it builds up and builds up and builds up to the point where some people engage in - engage in violence." (Senate Floor, 4/4/05)

If you ask me (I know, you didn't), we should be seeing a lot more conversations and interviews about whether or not this guy should be impeached or resign instead of what the color of the smoke means during the Cardinal Conclave.

OK, that's all I've got for now. We now return to talking about the Pope single handily defeating Communism with small interruptions about Michael Jackson's showering practices.

Come Together

Well, it finally happened. The impossible. Leaders of three major world religions, Christianity, Judaism and Islam, have come together for a common cause. Putting their differences and mistrust of each other aside, they are standing as one. What could make this miracle of miracles happen you ask? The fight against poverty? The horrible crime of sex-slavery? The AIDS pandemic? The oppression of women worldwide? The sudden realization that they all worship the same god? All wonderful reasons to come together and break bread with your fellow man, but no. The common thread that has brought these three religions together is they all agree that they hate queers. It seems that there is going to be an event in Jerusalem called WorldPride 2005, which is an international festival promoting gay rights and tolerance. The theme of the festival is "Love Without Borders", and these religious leaders will have none of that. So they called a press conference. And these "holy men" stood together as one to condemn the event. It was a very serious occasion, but the mood was lightened somewhat by the comedic stylings of American Orthodox rabbi Yehuda Levin, who zinged the crowd with his amazing one-liner "This is not a homo-land. This is the Holy Land". I hear he'll be playing the Catskills all month. Though I would tell him to leave out the follow-up joke about spiritual rape, you should end the show with your "A" material.

I can't believe this is all it took to bring these religious foes together, a little homophobia. Heck, they've shared a common goal of oppressing women for years and even that didn't bring them together (I suppose different methods of oppression were a sticking point). The festival hasn't even begun yet, there are still months to go, and it is already bringing the world's religions together with just the promise of a few gay films and a little parade. Imagine what else could be done with even more stimuli. So here's my urge to the attendees of the festival, all in the name of peace in the Middle East: Go gay nuts! If the mere thought of your presence can bring these centuries-old enemies together for a short press conference, just imagine what you can do if you really gay it up. And I'm not just talking about men with handlebar mustaches in leather hats or chicks in overalls with buzz cuts. I'm talking blow jobs at the wailing wall, anal sex in the Temple Mount, lesbian orgy in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (but keep your heads covered girls, you must humble yourself before the lord), and drag shows (with music by Deee-Lite!) at the Dome of the Rock. Maybe then there will finally be peace in the Middle East. Carter couldn't do it. Clinton and Bush couldn't do it. But maybe, just maybe, Harvey Fierstein and Melissa Etheridge, et al, can.